Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Thoughts on Frienship
Today I'm linking up with Becky's blog on the theme of "Let's Be Real". I was drawn to participate because I think sometimes blogging doesn't always allow for "real" expression. I say this because, for me it means there are things I know I can't write about it because someone in my family will read it, tell someone else, and somehow I'll be "in trouble" and it's just not worth that. But sometimes, I think, this is my blog, I can write what I want and you can choose to read it or not...Well, today I want to share what's been on my heart regarding friendship.
Since I moved away from home to relocate/go to college, friendship has been a huge challenge for me. My freshman year I made a bunch of friends but lost them about halfway through the year when my roomate and I had some seriuos fallings out (they were friends with both of us). I also was so focused on my boyfriend (who is now my husband) that I didn't make much priority for anyone else. After my freshman year, I moved to Houston to attend junior college and made "friends" with co-workers, but even then we were just buddies at work. I just stayed wrapped up with my boyfriend and his family most of the time. Next came junior & senior, I made some wonderful friends in the forms of my roommates! They are still my friends today! I wouldn't call us besties, but it's mainly because we live apart now (different cities, different states) and lead very different lives. I did make one good friend in this town and we had a huge falling out during the time I was planning my wedding. About 6 months after getting married we made up, which definitely filled that hole in my heart which longed for a good friend. As time has gone on, I feel like our closeness over the last year and a half has definitely changed. When we get together it's wonderful and everything great and we connect perfectly. But I long for that friendship where we text daily, stay up to date whether we've chatted face to face or not, etc. And right now, that's missing...
I really long for a close close friend or even a group of close girl friends...girls that are maybe in their 20s young and married like myself...maybe that's asking too much? So far these are the factors that have put me in lack of friendship mode:
-work full time and a gym rat, so I get home at 7 wiped out
-I'm terrible at making time for people during the week...or really even the weekend
-we are gone A LOT of weekends visiting family in Houston
-not involved in things that could lead to friendships (where on earth do you get involved?)
-we go to a VERY small church (the only girls there are young college girls, or older than me and some married with kids)
I also have come to the reality that I'm not a great friend. I even saw my bestie when I was home a few weeks ago and didn't make much time for her (I was soaking up my family time!). I see people having blates all the time, and it totally makes me jealous how some people have gained these great blog friendships and I haven't...I get discouarged sometimes, but I know God brings people in and out of your life at the right times...I just desire close girl friends that I can connect with, workout with, watch movies with, craft with, something...is that too much to ask?